Suicidal thoughts and hope exist on opposite ends of the spectrum, and one withers in the face of the other. A good means for challenging suicidal thoughts, then, is to cultivate hope. That is the aim of the “hope box.”
The premise is simple: Get a box (or a bag, or a large envelope, or anything else that can hold objects) and fill it with reminders of the things that give you hope, or that have given you hope in the past. You may even want to decorate your hope box creatively. Some people decorate a shoe box and make a fun project of it.
How to Create a Hope Box for Suicidal Thoughts
Items in a hope box may include:
- Letters or printed emails that mean a lot to you
- Photos of special times you have had – or of special times you hope to have, such as photos of a vacation spot or an activity you enjoy doing
- Photos of loved ones
- Inspirational quotes
- Bible verses, if you are religious
- Articles or columns that you find meaningful
- Jokes that make you laugh
- Anything else that reminds you of reasons to stay alive
The hope box is a technique used in cognitive behavioral therapy, as this article explains. The idea is to arm yourself to fight the tunnel vision and distorted thinking that can occur with suicidal thoughts – to give yourself reminders of hope even when when you feel none.
Other Things to Put in Your Hope Box for Suicidal Thoughts
I also recommend, if you have the strength and hope already to do this, writing a letter to yourself for when you feel acutely suicidal. This letter could “talk” to your future self and remind yourself of reasons for living, as well as ways you have coped with difficult times in the past.
You might also want to put a copy of your safety plan in the hope box; the safety plan lists things you can do personally to help yourself feel better when you think of suicide, people you can call to talk to (with phone numbers), and places you can go for help.
It is also recommended that you put things in the hope box that can serve as a distraction to suicidal thoughts. For example, if you enjoy sudoku or crossword puzzles, that could be something to put in your hope box. In this regard, the hope box can also be thought of as an emotional first aid kit.
Hope Box (or Hope Kit) Apps
You can also create a hope box of sorts with apps for the iPhone (and presumably for Android phones as well). These apps are free. One is called Virtual Hope Box, with tools for coping, relaxation, distraction, and positive thinking. Another is called, simply enough, Hope Box.
What helps awaken hope in you? What are the physical reminders of those experiences that you can put in your hope box?
UPDATED May 2014: I added current information about the iPhone apps, as well as information about the cognitive-behavioral theory underlying the hope box.
© 2013 Stacey Freedenthal. All Rights Reserved. Written for Speaking of Suicide. Photos purchased from Fotolia.com.
All very well saying get help – but there is no help to get. No one listens. No one cares.
What do you do when you don’t want to have hope? It feels worse when hopes are dashed than it does to just not hope in the first place.
YOU READ ALL THE RIGHT BOOKS,TALK TO THERAPIST,EAT HEALTHY,EXERCISE, WALKING LOTS OF WALKING,TRY THE DRUGS FOR A WHILE ETC ETC.MAYBE FOR SOME OF US THERE IS NO FIX.THIS IS OUR CROSS AND WE CAN ONLY DO THE BEST WE CAN DO.”EVEN JOY BECOMES A BURDEN WHEN YOU CAN NOT LAUGH” AND PRAY PRAY PRAY AND PRAY SOME MORE.
this!!!
I read many books about happiness but they did not work. They were like pain-killer pills which the effects worn off in couple of hours. I am living in Iran, Here every thing is different. I am an intellectual person who dedicate his life to be a well-known person but what I got, nothing. as well as sanction against Iran, some cruel persons are in power. There is no hope for improvement here. my prospect in life is bleak. I do not dare to kill myself. I hoped covid 19 would help me to get over from this painful life but I have not still caught it. I wish it come soon and relieve me from this unfair life. An animal in foreign country worth more than human being here. If living in Iran with such a horrible situation is my destiny, I do not want to live.
[This comment was edited to abide by the Comments Policy. – SF]
This is a BEAUTIFUL tool. Hope and Pray many PRECIOUS lives are saved before it’s just Too Late
SENDING LOVE! HOPE JOY AND PEACE