A Personal Note to Readers of “Speaking of Suicide”

After my last post, a reader submitted a comment that didn’t ask about suicide, or suicidal thoughts, or anything else related to ending one’s life. 

His words touched me. For one thing, this is a reader who’s submitted comments to this website for years about his strong desires to kill himself. I’m grateful to see he’s still here.

For another thing, his email signified a connection. Even though roughly 20,000 people a month visit Speaking of Suicide nowadays and I get a ton of email, it’s rare that a reader writes to me about anything other than suicide. Which makes sense, considering the site is dedicated specifically to speaking of suicide.

But this reader was wondering if I’ve been OK, and I understand why. I went almost nine months from one post to my most recent post. That’s a long time, especially in Googlelandia.

In the first five years that I started this site, I published 70 posts, plus several essays about my work raising awareness about suicide and helping the suicidal person. In the last five years, I’ve added only 9 posts, and two of those were articles I’d already published elsewhere. That’s a drop of 90%.

In Case You’re Wondering, Too…

I know that when one person asks a question, many others silently wonder the same thing. So, in case you’ve wondered too where the heck I’ve been lately, I’m sharing parts of the conversation (with the reader’s permission).

I sent him an email:

I’m replying to the message you left on my site, asking if I’m OK. It’s very nice of you to ask. I’ve been OK — well, as OK as we can be in a world that’s very much not OK. Just busy and distracted and overwhelmed with all sorts of work and obligations…

One thing that kept me away was writing my new book, which will come out in January: Loving Someone with Suicidal Thoughts: What Family, Friends, and Partners Can Say and Do.

I do hope to post at least a little more often. Thanks for checking in.

I’m glad to see that you’ve been pulled away from the blog for positive reasons – that is, completing your book, and not negative reasons such as illness or burnout… I and I think everyone else would understand that you have important work to do away from the blog, and that we’re lucky you have invested as much time as you have on it.

There also are a zillion other tasks required to keep a website running. A dear friend has been donating website support services that go beyond my amateur knowledge, and I tend to the day-to-day tasks like fixing broken links and correcting outdated information and reviewing (the best I can) hundreds of spam comments to look for legit comments that got ensnared by the spam filter and managing the many emails that I receive each day about the site and attending to social media like Facebook and Twitter — and more things that arise unpredictably.

I’m not complaining. Rather, I’m explaining: I’m still here, and I care very much about you, and I remain committed to Speaking of Suicide.

Personally Not Speaking of Suicide

My life isn’t all suicide, all the time — thankfully. I love cats and the Rocky Mountains, family and friends, chocolate and sushi, Netflix and books.

So, sometimes I’m not tending to the website because I’m having fun or relaxing or, I don’t know, sleeping. I assume you already know all that, but I want you to know I’m not totally a geek. Just mostly.

As one example of my life outside of suicidology, this summer I spent 10 days traveling in Copenhagen with my husband Pete. And this past weekend, in Frisco, Colorado with a friend, I took this video of a fox, which I now find myself re-watching almost as much as cat videos. 

My Plans for “Speaking of Suicide”

I do hope to write posts here more often, though I’ll probably never return to the pace of the site’s early years when I needed to build it from the ground up. If you have ideas or requests for future posts, please feel free to share in a comment below or email me at speakingofsuicide (at) gmail (dot) com.

I’m also accepting guest posts, in case you’d like to publish something of your own on Speaking of Suicide. Interested? Here’s more information. And here are links to the two guest posts published thus far: Learning to Hope After 30 Years of Depression and a Suicide Attempt, by Shannon Parkin, and “If You Take Meds for Mental Illness, Do Not Feel Ashamed or Weak” by MaryElizabeth.

Thank You, Readers, and Stay Tuned

Ten years ago, when I first started Speaking of Suicide, I never imagined it would get millions of visitors and help people around the world, many of whom have reached out to me about their experiences with suicidality, survival, and suicide loss.

In comments, in emails, and in other conversations, people have let me know the site has helped them. The feedback helps sustain my work here when pressures from other obligations bear down on me.

I appreciate your engagement, whether it’s coming here from time to time to read an article, regularly contributing to the comments, giving me feedback, sharing links on social media, or participating in some other way.

Together, we are speaking of what, to many people, remains unspeakable.

Together, we are helping each other (and others) to feel less alone and sometimes, even, to feel a little better.

_{© 2022 Stacey Freedenthal, PhD, LCSW. All Rights Reserved. Written for Speaking of Suicide.}