The grief, loss, and bewilderment following the suicide of a loved one can be overwhelming. Many reactions are common, ranging from everything from shock to anger to self blame to considering suicide for yourself.
There are questions, so many questions. “Why?” “What if…?” “What could I have done?” And there are few, if any answers.
Here are some resources for coping in the aftermath. Some material repeats what I have included on the Resources page for suicide loss survivors, and some goes beyond that.
Coping Immediately After the Suicide
After a Suicide: A Practical and Personal Guide for Survivors
This booklet begins with information about the practical logistics immediately following a suicide, including details about a possible autopsy, cleaning of the home if the suicide occurred there, organ donation – and more. The second part of this booklet addresses the emotional aftermath of suicide bereavement, including common reactions to the suicide of a loved one, as well as the process of grieving.
How to Talk with Children about the Suicide
I address what to say to children in my post, “What to Tell Children of a Loved One’s Suicide?“
A rich and informative blog post, “Speaking to Children about Suicide,” also contains good information. Its author is Nancy Rappaport, M.D., a child psychiatrist whose own mother died by suicide when the author was 4 years old.
Seeking Support from other Suicide Loss Survivors
Suicide Loss Support Groups
This site, sponsored by the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, provides a directory of support groups nationwide for people who have lost a loved one to suicide. Some support groups are led by a mental health professional, while others are led by participants themselves.
Suicide Loss Survivor Outreach Program
The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention trains people who have survived a suicide loss to reach out to others newly bereaved by suicide. The volunteers can visit and offer peer support. Click here to request a visit from someone in your area.
Books about Suicide Loss
This list of books on coping after the suicide of a loved one is quite comprehensive. It divides books according to specific affected groups, including children, adolescents, men, and clinicians. It also provides a list of books on suicide. (Provided by the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention.)
Although a great deal of books helpful to suicide loss survivors are out there, a book that I find particularly good is Touched by Suicide, by Michael Myers and Carla Fine.
Web Sites with More Resources for Coping and Healing from Suicide Loss
What’s Helped You to Cope After a Loved One’s Suicide?
Do you have more resources to share? If so, please email me at speakingofsuicide@gmail.com or submit a comment below. Thank you.
© Copyright 2013 Stacey Freedenthal, PhD, LCSW, All rights Reserved. Written For: Speaking of Suicide. Photo purchased from Fotolia.com
Hi I used to work with suicide Problems and the after math. If only I had these notes to refer to We studied but your book is in plane easy to understand Meaning the way you describe the different situations . I attended many situations of why when and how . And guessing where the deceased had ended their lives Thank you for all this knowledge you have given Lorraine whitehouse. Victoria Australia
My 43-yr old son recently lost his wife to COPD, he had been taking care of her; therefore, unemployed. Because of his irresponsible financial behavior, she left him only a mobile home that he hasn’t been able to sell. No job, no resources, student loan debt, attempted suicide last year, currently seeing mental health professional. I paid for wife’s funeral expenses, gave him $1200 dollars that he blew in one week; gave him another $500; paid $700 in auto repair; lost his cell phone-I bought another because I live out of state. A couple of days ago, he had a wreck due to blacking out after from mixing alcohol with medication. His car was impounded, another $200. I asked him to use some of the money that I gave him for house appraisal to get his car out. He said he didn’t have any. I challenged him by asking what happened to it. He said,”you don’t want to know”. He made the statement in a text that he felt like he might be better off dead. I’m going there this weekend lost for words and over $7,000. I just really don’t know what else I can do that would restore hope that all is not hopeless. I LOVE HIM SO MUCH!
What about those who tried to self terminate their situation. I tried but failed because I was sloppy. Thank God for friends and E.M.T. I’ve been through a lot but so has alot of people. I now know and believe in God & Jesus where before I believed in nothing or satan. I’ve in 2011 had visions which to this day I still don’t know what they mean.